A Modest Proposal to Save My Tax Dollars

June 3rd, 2015 10 Comments

California state seal


Darleen brought the following news item to my attention:

“As a result of too many high profile drunken driver arrests involving California legislators, state senate officials have hired designated driving employees to drive home inebriated lawmakers.

“Senate President Pro Tem Kevin de León refused to discuss details of the program.  ‘We’re not going to provide comment, because it’s a security issue,’ his spokesman, Anthony Reyes, said.

“The Sacramento Bee reported that four lawmakers in the past five years have been accused of driving while under the influence of alcohol.

“Known as ‘special services assistants,’ the designated drivers work in the Senate Sergeant-at-Arms Office and are responsible for providing “ground transportation for Senate members.”

“The Bee reported that the two employees—a retired Assembly sergeant-at-arms and a retiree from the Department of General Services—are paid $2,532 per month, of course at taxpayer expense.

“A man who turned down the position said that the job description mandated that he work from 11 p.m. to 6 a.m. or 7 a.m. to drive senators home ‘just if they were drinking too much…  and to pick them up and take them home.’

“One legislative chief of staff told the Bee that the service is intended to prevent drunken driving by legislators.

“State senators are given a small plastic card showing the ‘Sacramento 24 hour transportation’ phone number. The card offers a stylish picture displaying a ‘California State Senate’ banner across the top and a photo of the Capitol dome in the background. ‘In case of an emergency’—read extra loaded and designated drivers are already occupied with their esteemed colleagues—senators can call Senate’s Chief Sergeant-at-Arms Debbie Manning, who’s direct number appears on the card.

“The Sacramento Bee reported the following list of lawmakers that did not call for driving assistance after drinking excessively, but wish that they had:

“State Sen. Ben Hueso, D-San Diego, arrested last August near the Capitol on suspicion of driving under the influence. Stopped by police around 2:30 a.m. for driving the wrong way down a one-way street, he blew a blood alcohol level of 0.08 percent. He ultimately pleaded guilty to a “wet reckless” charge.

“Assemblyman Roger Hernández, D-West Covina, was found not guilty of driving under the influence after a 2012 trial in Contra Costa County ended in a hung jury.

“Then-Assemblyman Martin Garrick, R-Solana Beach, pleaded no contest to drunken driving charges in 2011 after he was spotted driving erratically in his state-issued vehicle in Sacramento.

“Then-Sen. Roy Ashburn, R-Bakersfield, pleaded no contest to drunken driving charges in 2010 and was sentenced to two days in jail and three years’ probation.”

I kid you not. In case this sounds too much like a Saturday Night Live! skit, here is a link


to just one of multiple news agencies that reported this story.

But wait! I have a better idea! Instead of using my tax dollars to pay for designated drivers, how about we just throw the sons of bitches in jail? I know what you’re going to say: that jail terms for each state senator will cost the taxpayer more than $2,532 a month. But you’re wrong, because if they’re in jail, they can’t do any mischief on the senate floor, mischief such as spending my money on self-serving, cockamamie schemes to cover up for their stupidity, incompetence, lack of discipline, arrogance, and complete disregard for the people of the state they’re supposed to represent.

Another, cheaper alternative would be to throw the sons of bitches out of office.

Just a thought.

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  1. Anonymous says:

    Your link is not linked. There was a councilman in Detroit who was caught driving drink. He had open bottles in his car and he also had weed.
    Yes, throw them is jail. Any one else caught driving drunk would be hauled off to jail. In Michigan they would impound your car too. You have to pay several thousand dollars to get the car out of impound.
    While they are in jail they meet their fellow inmate with the name of “Tiny”.

  2. Anonymous says:

    If notice you click on the link you have it will not take you to the website.

  3. Anonymous says:

    Hello JP,

    what a cheek!
    Why don’t they just to complete the service inaugurate an extra tax to finance the senate member’s alcohol consumption????
    If I had to decide I’d prefer your solution.
    But if you throw all the dunces out who’ll do the job ?

    Best wishes


  4. Anonymous says:

    I didn’t know that the California seal had a bear on it. Is the man on the seal digging a grave or is he digging for gold?

  5. Anonymous says:


    I looked up the seal of Michigan. To tell the truth I wasn’t really familiar with Michigan’s seal either.

  6. Anonymous says:


    Dennis Miller on FIFA, the TSA and the California senators getting a ride because they are drunk.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Doesn’t California have some of the highest state taxes in the United States?

  8. Anonymous says:

    JP, love your response! They should not only be held to equal, but higher standards….l would love to add that they should be able to pass an alcohol and drug test before any voting takes place. 🙂

  9. Anonymous says:

    You have the drunk drivers here in Canada our senators just steal the money out right like Mike Duffy. Mr. Duffy stole over $60000! American it Canadian our fearless leaders are taking our tax dollars!

    Tena French Halifax NS Canada

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