I’ve been doing research on how to sell my books. They’re selling, but not in the kinds of numbers I would like. Let me put it this way: John Grisham and Dean Koontz are still safe at the top of the best seller list, but since I would like to join them there (maybe have a beer with them at the Algonquin, quote some Dorothy Parker and Alexander Woollcott, trash some living novelists, lament the passing of deceased legends, laugh at the buffoons in congress, that sort of thing) I’ve been combing the internet for advice. So far I’ve learned two things.
One is that I need to tell people they don’t have to own a Kindle to download my books; they can be downloaded onto your PC or Apple or Notebook or iPad or iPod or smart phone or whatever. Having told you that, I have now exhausted my store of knowledge on the topic because other than an antediluvian desktop computer, I don’t own any of those things and don’t have a clue how to do any of that stuff. Turning the television on frequently exceeds my technological know-how, but assuming you’re more computer savvy than I—a safe assumption, unless you’re on life support in an assisted living facility—it is apparently easy to do.
The other thing is a little more problematic. All the sites I visited made it clear that it is vital, it is imperative, I sing my own praises and tell you how brilliant my writing is. I have to sell myself, in other words.
That could be a problem. For one thing, I was raised in a family where, if you won the Nobel or the Pulitzer or an Olympic gold medal, you were supposed to say, “Aw, shucks, I don’t really deserve it,” and then hide the medal away in a drawer to be discovered, after your death, by stunned and mystified grandchildren.
For another thing, selling anything is not precisely my forte.
When I was first trying to make my living as an actor in New York, I reached a stage where I began to despair of ever having a career other than waiting on tables or catching shoplifters, neither of which paid very well or suited my particular talents, and I began to think about alternate ways of earning a living. My sister—bless her—tried to help. In college, she had dated a young man named Stefan Jovanovich whose father was the Jovanovich in the publishing company then known as Harcourt Brace Jovanovich. Mr. Jovanovich, the father, was very fond of my sister and at her urging offered me a job.
Always the practical and down-to-earth realist, I think I had visions of myself as another Maxwell Perkins, making indecent pots of money reading and encouraging brilliant writers as I shaped the future of American literature from a tasteful brownstone on the Upper East Side, smiling quietly to myself in elegant restaurants as I overheard people say, “Of course, you know that novel wouldn’t have been nearly as good if it hadn’t been for Jameson Parker.”
Well, not exactly. I was offered a position in their magazine division. Their trade magazine division. Specifically, a trade periodical that catered to manufacturers of women’s underwear, surely a niche market if there ever was one. And worst of all, there was no copy editing or rewriting or anything even remotely creative. My job was to sell advertising space. I spent my days wandering around the garment district, looking for dreary buildings, going into dreary offices, where dreary and irritable men manufactured titillating items like the little metal clips that fasten brassieres. My sales technique was masterful. I would tentatively open the door and with great diffidence poke my head in. The same man was always sitting at every desk in every office in every building. He was always overweight, he was always balding, he always smoked, he always had a grayish cast to his skin. He was never glad to see me.
“Hi. Um, say, excuse me, uh, you wouldn’t like to maybe buy some advertising space, would you?”
He always agreed with me. He wouldn’t. Sometimes he even helped me cut right to the chase before I could finish the question: “Beat it, kid.”
At the end of six weeks I had not managed to sell one inch of advertising space, and Harcourt Brace Jovanovich, Trade Publications Division, decided they could stagger on without me. I was fired.
So now I’m supposed to do the old razzle-dazzle and convince you that your life will be a hollow and meaningless wasteland if you don’t buy all my books, possibly even multiple copies, and then recommend them to everyone you have ever met in your entire life.
Oooooooookay.
Um, say, excuse me, uh, did you happen to catch any of the Olympics?
At last – someway I feel I can contribute to this blog! There is a Kindle app available through Amazon. Just download the app to a target device. The app is for both Android or Apple OS. It will turn your desktop computer, laptop, cell phone, ipad, or tablet into a virtual Kindle. It is very simple to download and install. (I recall it being a free app, as well.)
I meant to post this information before when one of your readers was lamenting about being unable to buy your books. Now that the topic has come up again, I wanted to share that it is a very easy process. I am not an IT person or a software phenom. Just a designer that loves to read. Anyone with an internet connection can do this.
Reading a book on a phone or desktop isn’t ideal, but it is possible.
Now that I have been bold enough to finally contribute, I want to add my compliments regarding your website and blog. I stumbled on it AFTER reading your first book. I have since read the two novels and enjoyed them both. Thanks for sharing the short stories and articles and being so open to your readers. You serve up a buffet of topics and thoughts. Like any buffet, what is served up may not be to everyone’s taste every time; but, it is always interesting. It keeps me checking in…
Your razzle-dazzle is subtle, but it’s duly noted. : )
There aren’t many people that have the ability or tenacity to have two successful (and very different) artistic careers. Good for you!
I commend you Mr. Parker for being motivated to get your books out there! My first piece of advise, having worked in sales, is to set a target of the number of books you would like to sale in a month, year etc. Then start thinking of your circles of friends, co-workers, former co-workers (Mackie). I would also recommend book signings at various bookstores that carry your books. People would love to have an autographed book by you. Also try getting some of that self promotion by talk shows like Ellen, the Talk etc. Your fans are out there!! They would love to know what you are doing now. Any events that have to do with cowboys also promote it there! I am behind your efforts 100% I wish I could help you more. Please give my regards to Ms. Darleene
Tena French Halifax , Nova Scotia Canada
Sorry, JP, cain’t much help you there. I DID give you a good review on Amazon, which purty much exhausts my computer ability. I CAN try to make you feel a liddle better about it all–first–even if you don’t make much money outta writin’, you still have written books to be proud of, that have touched many people(most whom you’ll likely never hear from, of course). And 2nd–no, yer NOT the most computer illiterate out there. I know fer a fact, because I AM. I don’t even own a computer(this here message is pecked out with my right index finger on my work computer, which I was FORCED to learn how to use a few years back….). Nor do I have a cell phone or any of them modern gadgets. “Kindle” has to do with makin’ a fire, as far as I’m concerned. I don’t have cable T. V., and git very little reception on the one old T. V. I’ve got–even less now, thanks to DTV–and I can’t pick up NBC, so I have seen zero regarding the Olympics(hey, when I lived up in the Appalachians for 20 years or so, I got NO T. V. reception, OR even radio! I missed a LOT of T. V. series, including Simon And Simon, alas). And menial jobs er about all I’ve managed to snag to pay the civilized bills. As a zookeeper now, shoveling poo, I think I’ve got it GREAT! I always said I prefer shoveling B. S. rather than putting up with it…..there now–feel better?……L.B.
I’m with Tena, you need to go on a talk show and tell everybody you’re still alive. They (those who don’t read this blog) all think you’re a drunken bum living in the gutter somewhere in LA. You need to let them (book buyers/fans) know you’re alive and riding horses and….stuff. I believe it’s called exposure..?
At least you’re published! I’m too lazy to even submit my stuff, so I’m never going to have a chat and a cuppa tea with anybody rich and famous.
So, off you go. Find someone who will put you on their TV show. Then you can do the ‘aw shucks’ thing on camera and that will make your books/you even more appealing.
Go for it!
Delphine
“I meant to post this information before when one of your readers was lamenting about being unable to buy your books”
Lamenting!! Me!!?? strange! I didnt know I was! just expressing the words I know best in my simple english vocabulary how I could not upload them!
still didnt seem to get the words right I see! needs to improve my english better I’m afraid! but wont mind the Lamenting word much because I was a bit upset not to be able to buy the books!
any way thanks for the information.
and Mr Parker I did try to download the file to my Pc first when I wrote before but my computer didnt accept the file,I used to download games from Amazon but when I tried the same with books couldnt! so it seems you misunderstood as well!
Sorry! sure need more English lessons! specially expressions!
I bought two of your books-hard cover- one still didnt get,when I finish reading I’ll comment as I did on Amazon for your first book so maybe help you there.
when it comes to computers I may know just a little bit more than you and need to get advice from my 12 years old niece!
A women in my country was able to sell her goods -for womens-by playing dirty but succesful way on net cost her nothing on advertising!
she registered in lots of different E-mails and logged in female forums using different names not as her true identity then posted few times as a new members then kept talking about how good the items she bough were! her own actually!
its wrong but worked for her!
politician use people they pay for the same way! dirty game that is!
but the honest and good writer you sure wont have to go that far!
well Im trying with the App Kindle now still not work on PC!
So maybe I’ll try to download it in my Samssung Galaxy 3 phone and see how it works! if not return to my 12 Y computer advicer !!
Naeema
And add to what my dear friend Tena said you can get your wife Darleen to help you go with her to the university or college where I believe you mentioned she works and talk about your books and experience.
I’m sure the students will be interested to buy if they listen to you.well recommend to thier friends as well.
so stop being Shy! your books are great!
plus your relatives can help you advertise to forums they are members in.
I add my voice to Tena and Delphine
Go for it!
Naeema
Just wanted to say it was my pleasure reading your blog,enjoyed it more than you know,know how good writer and a kind person you are Mr Parker.
and many thanks to you I became close friend with Tena.
cant post any more for several reasons.hope its not a relieve!! lol!
but truely wish you all the best.you sure deserve it and will pray for you always.
Salaam,Goodbye
Naeema
Kuwait
The sense of irony was pervasive in this blog entry (Salesmanship 101), especially in the first paragraph. In the off chance that the irony was unintentional (gag-me-with-a-spoon!) the main, (and obvious and contrarian) recommendation would be to forget time-wasting marketing junkets and focus on getting the writing done and getting coherent pieces ‘finished’ i.e. be industrious and keep building a body of work.
There is an example of a highly prolific (and engaging) science writer out there that took the advice of a technical writer before him (who was also prolific). That advice can be summarized as: Come hell or high water, I will write a minimum of one page every day. He has been averaging a book a year and they are enjoyable and worthwhile, even if they are not always fast or big sellers. This is a damned sight better than becoming yet another mainstream charlatan of a writer- many come to mind but don’t want to plug the swilling swine.
But writing may not be the main activity in a typical day. Optimal activity-prioritizing and optimal time-management seem even more of a concern once past the early afternoon of one’s expected natural life. While no one is going to refuse earnings from their work it seems unlikely that many good writers are simply chasing ‘big bucks’ (although some have confessed that was all they were doing). I heard that a famous espionage-fiction writer has now granted his last interview, forever (let alone book signing and TV junkets), even though he enjoys good health and, thankfully, goes on writing ‘into that good night’.
Lastly (and obviously), you can keep mining your life experiences for stories. But, even though stories are what people are listening, reading and watching, writing of great value is often about unpopular ideas or current affairs presented in a unique voice, perspective and style. Your experiences with animals and the land seem to ring true to this reader partly due to an apparently amorphous writing skill, an extraordinary skill in depicting what actually transpired (with humor) and, in no small part, subject matter that makes this reader want to keep reading.
Just keep at it.
RA
P. S. Disregard everything written above.
Ride any and all waves of popularity,
And milk that celebrity cash cow.
Spend all earthly time making tons of money,
You can take it all with you! And how!
Wow! This is a hard one. Would Facebook or twitter be out of the question? I see alot of celebs advertising on their sites along with photos and chit-chat with their fans. Book clubs? I know they have them everywhere. Maybe get some of them to invite you to talk about your book for their group? Maybe ask all of your friends and those groups listed here to mention your books and send them here? I have your link on my FB page. Maybe ask other writers what they have done to promote and sell their books. Wish I could be of more help. If I think of anything else, I’ll write back. Good luck!
Nancy
Are you familiar with the blogs of Kristine Kathryn Rusch and her husband, Dean Wesley Smith? Tons of advice. Also Joe Konrath (his blog: A newbie’s Guide to Publishing), he has been quite successful after he gave up on legacy publishers.
Sarah Hoyt’s last post on her blog discusses selling:
http://accordingtohoyt.com/2012/08/29/fresh-and-hot/
She writes fantasy and science fiction, mostly for Baen Books, and is going indie to at least some extent.
The main advice seems to be the same I have seen from others – the more you have out the more likely people will find you. Including individual short stories published for Kindle, although with those it seems a good idea to make sure the ‘Short Story’ part is well hawked on the book page, I have seen more than a few one star reviews on Amazon where the main beef seemed to be that the buyer had thought they were buying something longer.
Kiti