I are a writer. And because I are, I taking big interest in the hows the English language am being taught and used by the writers and journalist what have graduated—at least I think they graduated—from some American journalism school. Or not.
Here are some more magical moments from our brightest and best:
CNN, FOX, NBC, CBS, and ABC all reported that no fewer than forty US and/or coalition troops had been killed in “green on blue” attacks, while the NY Times reported today that five Australian troops were killed. I’m not sure if the ridiculous use of the word “troops” instead of “soldiers” is intended by the news media to lend an exaggerated tone to the reporting, or if that use was possibly requested by the Pentagon in an attempt to confuse the American public as to the precise number of soldiers killed. Either way, it are wrong.
The crawl on NBC during the Olympics informed me one day that “Chinga” had fallen behind America in total number of medals won. While that delighted me, it really didn’t come as much of a surprise because I couldn’t honestly expect a nation so small I had never even heard of it to be able to keep pace with America. But congratulations to Chinga. I are impressed.
And just to show there is no limit to degree of mangling to which the English language can be subjected (or subjectified, if you’re a television pundit): On NBC, a national correspondent—talking about the newly released book, No Easy Day, an account of the raid on Osama bin Laden’s compound, written by a Navy Seal—informed his viewers that bin Laden was initially shot in the head and then shot again as he, “…lied dying.” Well, of course he lied about it! He probably thought he might live. He were mistaken.
And that particular failure to grasp the rules of verb conjugation reminded me of my all time favorite, this one from a local CBS news anchor covering the funeral of President Gerald Ford. He told his viewers that a procession of mourners had come to pay respects to the late president as, “…his body lied in state.” Now I admit that was a clever, if oblique, dig at a politician’s capacity for playing fast and loose with the truth, but it wasn’t a tactful time to mention it. On the other hand, I were amused.
Alan Jay Lerner had no idea how prescient he was:
“There are even places where English completely disappears.
In America, they haven’t used it for years.”
I are depressed.
Mr. Parker as a former media spokesperson for our Muslim community and an ESL – English as a second language teacher for Asian kids, some from China not Chinga I share your view point on this issue. The people who author, report , write etc should review their knowledge of the English language. I am not perfect being born and raised in Canada eh? With that being said there are many ways to acquire and practice good writing skills and media reporting. I feel this should be upon everyone who wishes to enter into this particular field. Imagine how insulting to “Chinga” it would be to have their country of China spelled that way. In the quote you mentioned “lied dying” I think he should have had a better proof reader as lied dying gives the notion that while he was dying he lied! Rather it should be lay dying.
Please give my best to Ms. Darlene. I feel proper English is a dying art form.
Tena French Halifax, NS Canada
Some years ago I was listening to a professor complaining about the lack of vocabulary that students entering university had. They were all going to work in the field were the English language would be their main tool of the day. He gave them a simple word test and out of 75 students, 65 didn’t know what incarcerated meant. This is not that strange a word – yes/no? I was surprised, considering I knew what it meant and I don’t consider myself to have a great vocabulary.
On the lighter side, I purchased a very pretty glass pumpkin the other day from eBay (Halloween). Australia doesn’t celebrate Halloween to any great extent but I like all the stuff. Anyway… the package arrived and as always there was a sticker on the front describing what was in the very well packed box. I have been giggling for a day now. It read ‘Object d’Ark’. My husband said it may have been a pun – d’Ark – Halloween. That’s a stretch. I know the phrase is French and somebody probably just wrote what they heard, but I think it’s hysterical.
I also read someone’s thoughts on early English literature (17th. century). The statement was ‘they didn’t know how to spell back then’. Ha ha ha ha ha…I’m back. Maybe all of this is part of the evolution of the English language. Instead of conjugating we are truncating.
Oh, I just had a terrible thought. What if news readers started using ‘you know’ every third word!
Hooroo
Delphine
One thing that I have noticed is how often words are misspelled. For me English is a written language, I don’t speak it often but I do read and write it most days, and I’m not sure of my grammar but I think I can spell pretty good. And with internet, if I’m not sure it’s very easy to check. Not all people seem to bother. Also words used in the wrong context, or for the wrong meaning.
With my own language problem is the intruding English. People, and way too often those are people like journalists, use English words, or translated from English words, even when we have perfectly serviceable words for the same things already.
Languages change, but yes, it’s rather depressing when even those people whose training should have been in the correct use of one don’t bother.
Kiti
Nothing stays as it is!
we all feel the same when it comes to our language,its every nation’s pride!
Mr Parker why not write these mistakes using funny,simple words that are commen but wrong to use you heared people use on daily life or TV on a new book,for new generation to read!
but never be depressed.
Naeema
And I know what incarcerated meant! Wow! I might not be awful at this language after all! lol!
well just this one! as I watched lots of Law and Order and CSI episodes before!
Naeema
Well, I´m from Germany and though (or THOUGH!!??!!) I notice wrong spellings or punctuations a lot. How many people mix up their and there and they´re or it´s and its – but I don´t know whether because of simple sluttery or because they don´t know to do better?
Mr. Parker, Sir, due to your unendingly thesaurus I often am compelled to use my online dic – but it´s a pleasure… and a shame that I can´t keep all these beautiful words in mind
You might have heard of icanhascheezburger.com – it´s supposed to be funny.
Diana (pittiger)
My apologies if I confuse our commentors/followers for which English is not their first language(it is not really mine either–”Canine” is my first language!), but I have always found misspelling things, or spelling phonetically(depending, of course, on the particular culture being expressed) to be WAY more fun than being “correct”–much to my past teachers’ dismay, and explaining, in part, my poor grades in school!! AND, being raised a Southern American, boy howdy, do I shore have mah own way uh pernowncin’ stuff! But I personally LOVE cultural differences and colloquialisms–it’d be a dull, dull world without ‘em! And we doan tawk “English” in tha U. S., we tawk UHMURIKAN! Speaking of English in America, I had a Cherokee language professor(Mr. Robert Bushyhead) in college that was punished(beaten) in Missionary schools as a child if caught speaking his native language while growing up. But he had the last laugh, as he eventually became a professor and taught white kids Cherokee language! And he was THE BEST teacher I had, too, kindergarten thru college! A funny thing he told us–when filling out job applications, under the section for listing “foreign languages fluent in”–he always put “ENGLISH!”….L.B.