“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to eat free…”
(With apologies to Emma Lazarus and the Statue of Liberty.)
I always wanted to have a ranch gate sign made that read, “All hope abandon, all ye who enter here,” but Darleen didn’t see the humor in it. Besides, she pointed out that half the people who saw it wouldn’t understand what it meant in the first place, or where the quote came from. Fortunately, we’re isolated enough that we don’t get too many uninvited human visitors, but every starving stray animal for miles around seems to think our little ranch is the local homeless shelter, and I guess they’re right. Over the years we have taken in and found the owners of—or new homes for—two German shepherds (running together), a Boxer, three Labradors, one Golden retriever, two border collies, one mutt that appeared to be part Himalayan mastiff, multiple generic cattle dog crosses, and something that looked like it started out wanting to be a pit bull but gave it up as too ambitious. And countless cats.
Those are just the ones that have wandered onto the place uninvited. The rescues we actually sought out and made part of the household include two German shepherds, three Welsh corgis (Two Cardigan, one Pembroke), two Chesapeake Bay retrievers, one Boxer, and a horse. And countless cats.
The horse we rescued was being starved to death in an appalling situation, and we rescued it with the thought of keeping it for Darleen because it was only around fourteen hands. Of course, the moment we started feeding it, it promptly grew to sixteen hands, in spite of already being four years old, and it turned out to be a brawler, taking on any and all of our other horses without regard for sex or even how badly it got beaten up, which it invariably did. We finally sold it to a professional trainer who wanted a project, and just to show you what shrewd and cunning horse traders Darleen and I are, we are the only people I have ever heard of who have rescued a starving horse and still managed to sell it at a loss. I’ve never figured out how we achieved that.
The latest addition to the Parker menagerie is a cat we spotted from the kitchen window a few weeks ago. Between coyotes, bobcats, hawks, eagles, and owls, any domestic feline out on its own in this neck of the woods has a lifespan that can be counted in days, at best. This particular cat had evidently flunked “Hunting 101—An Introduction to Basics,” because she consisted, literally, of a moth-eaten hide loosely draped over a skeleton, and I suspect her lifespan at that point consisted of hours at most. Needless to say, anything that helpless automatically has Darleen wrapped around its paw. (Anything with fur, that is. I’ve tried helpless many times, with no success.) To be fair, this poor thing was in such bad shape that we didn’t even dare take her into the vet for almost a week because all she was capable of doing was eating and sleeping. And, of course, by the end of a week, she had Darleen wrapped…etc., etc…and is now a permanent member of the Parker establishment, with health insurance, pension, a 401k, social security, and three squares a day. I have named her Grace, because she once was lost, but now is found, but Lucky would have been just as good. Or, according to Roget’s, Fortunate, Providential, Blessed, Favored, Out of the Woods, Over the Hump, In A Bed of Roses, In A Tub of Butter, or Fat Dumb and Happy (informal).
Good luck to Fat Dumb and Happy. May her new found luck hold.
Ah, cats. At least dogs don’t usually decide that the perfect spot for a nap is between your hands and the keyboard right when you are trying to write. Or possibly on the keyboard. Possibly on both your hands and the keyboard. They can be so damn insistent too, no matter how many times you push them back on the floor they just jump right back.
Kiti
Mr. Parker,
Again, this is a beautiful story of your life on her ranch. I think we women have passed through our mother instinct, the feeling all helpless creatures help;-) And yes, animals can easily wrap ourselves around the paw. Darleen has with you the same luck as I did with my husband could not if both would pull together you can not live well together. Animals have always been part of my life. I love my husband that he has me so taken as I am and always supported me. In your case it will be the same. Back to your story
Here in Germany it is often so that the cats are fed by humans so well that they have forgotten how to hunt mice. Many cats here are too thick and are thus ill. Why can not cats go about their natural instinct? Your new family member Grace seems to have forgotten that too;-) whatever reason. It probably seems to be to find better care of you;-) So a smart cat! 
Grace is a very beautiful and fitting name. I hope Grace has a long and beautiful life on your ranch.
It’s amazing that you and Darleen help animals in need. And I can also understand why. Animals are good listeners. They give you back what was believed lost. Trust, love and friendship.
Especially when we sad in life and had a bad experience.
I would be very happy if you could tell a little bit every now and then from your ranch life. For me it’s nice to know like-minded people and to hear their stories and to read. Knowing others are just so “crazy” as my family;-)
Greetings from Germany
Manuela
Ils ont bien de la chance ces petits animaux de trouver un endroit où ils peuvent enfin être heureux !!!!!!
Je n’ai eu qu’un chien dans ma vie. Elle m’a quittée il y a 2 ans et il n’y a pas un jour où je ne pense à petite Wendy. Ce petit chien ne devait pas arriver chez moi, mais lorsque j’ai vu son regard, je n’ai pas pu la laisser derrière ses barreaux, elle était si petite.
Elle m’a accompagnée pendant 15 ans et m’a apportée beaucoup de joie pendant tout ce temps.
J’ai vraiment perdu une “amie”.
Lorsque j’ai du l’accompagner chez le vétérinaire pour qu’elle puisse finir sa vie dignement, elle m’a fait confiance jusqu’au bout et a mis sa petite tête dans mes bras. Ce moment restera à jamais gravé dans ma mémoire.
Rien que d’en parler, j’en ai encore les larmes aux yeux……………..
Anita (France)
One of my favorite Mark Twain quotes(paraphrased), “You can take any stray dog and make him prosperous, and he will not bite you. This is the principle difference between men and dogs.” Having helped stray dogs AND stray humans, I can relate. I also cannot “Foster” dogs, because after a VERY short period of time(sometimes measurable in mere minutes), they become MY dogs(and I THEIR human). I DO(ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY,)STRICTLY limit myself to NO MORE than ten dogs at any one time–I am only two over that limit just now(purty good self-control for me!). Alas, I cannot take in any cats, much as I would love to, as all dozen of my present canines are enthusiastic and incorrigible cat murderers. People say I am crazy for taking in so many dogs(most of mine would be long dead had I not–some from horrendous situations), but I can honestly say that all my dozen dogs cost less, and cause me far less trouble, than JUST ONE of those bipedal primates most folks propagate or acquire! And don’t EVEN get me started on vet bills……A good, honest, trustable veterinarian is worth their weight in gold–and I have known some in the past for sure–but alas none recently where I live now. The greed and dishonesty and lack of ethics among many vets is quickly catching up to that displayed by human doctors……..L.B.
Hi Mr. Parker and MS. Darlene we have rescued a kitty 12 years ago. His name is Ginger. He is orange and white and a long haired domestic. When we got him he was underfed, thin, needing a bath. I took him in, fed him, bathed him . After that he wanted to snuggle in my chair. We went to bed with hubby and he snuggled tight to me, the cat , not hubby as the cat was in the middle and he bit my toe! That was love. He has been with us now 12 wonderful years, hubby for 19 wonderful years. I even did a speech for Toastmasters on who was smarter my cat or my husband. End result was the cat and I was the first Muslim lady to win a speech contest! Ginger was abandoned by his former owners and I’m afraid that if I ever saw them i would need bail money. I would love to have the room to rescue more but we live in a two bedroom apartment. Ginger is the light of my life. When people ask do you have any kids I say yes two…Ginger and my husband Gerald.
May God Bless you for what you guys are doing. It brings tears to my eyes of happiness.
Tena French Halifax, NS Canada
Dear Mr. Parker,
I just found this blog last night, and I’m so happy to hear that you’re still writing, still living on your ranch, and still loving life.
I’ve read your book An Accidental Cowboy (unfortunately, it’s since been lost… must remember to get another copy!) and loved it. I’m a fan from your previous life as an actor (what a crush I had on AJ Simon, lol!). I very much hope you will continue keeping us updated on your life, as well as Darleen and the myriad of animals who keep you.
I grew up on a farm myself with pigs, cows, horses, chickens, and yes, scores of dogs and cats (most of which wandered in from roads and fields and just made themselves at home). I’m a dog person myself, and a gorgeous poodle named Alaska adopted me about 10 months ago. To Kiti above: Dogs also have a tendency to shove their heads between your arm and the keyboard as you’re typing, but at least if you push them away enough times, they get the idea.
God bless you, and I’ll be back to read and comment again!
~ Ciana
Short cat rescue story
In my work as a newspaper delivery person I meet every night a nice big red cat. In Germany, the daily newspaper is delivered at night. This cat always greets me with a friendly meow. I caress her over the head and say: Hello Cat. She always sits at the same time before the same door so they will stay there. A few weeks ago, the cat was sitting there not. Not even the next night. I was worried. My newspaper tour, I’m going by car. I supply the farms and solitary houses and small villages. The next night I saw the “poor” cat in the headlights of my car. She sat behind a basement window and touched the window with his paw. Surely she was trapped there by mistake. On a piece of paper I wrote: Your cat sitting in the basement. This sheet of paper I stuck to the newspaper. The following night the cat was sitting on the doorstep. To the mail box hung a sheet of paper and a small gift: Thank you says the cat Tobi.
I was very happy and now knows how the cat is called;-)
veterinarian:
Since I have to agree with you, Mr.Parker. Finding a good honest vet is very difficult. The old vets earlier, those were such vets. Which one could call at any time. Many knew too old home remedies instead of overpriced Medizien today. We currently have 2 veterinarians. One for our farm animals and one for our pets. Most can not handle both. Our two vets are good but somehow I lack the personal.
But we have a really great farrier!
Dogs:
Did I read it right now? There are currently 10 dogs and more? Wow
And I thought I was crazy;-)
Manuela
Oops, Manuela; you have committed a grave error! The nut with the dozen dogs and griping about modern vets IS NOT master Parker, creator of this blog, but a mere participant/commentator, with the initials “L. B.” However, you bring up a good question that I, too(and no doubt other blog followers), have–exactly what manner, and how many critters DO you guys have on the Parker Spread? Perhaps a subject for a future blog?…..L.B.(not J. P.)
Oh …. I have to apologize to you (LB) and Mr.Parker. Sorry. That’s what happens when you can not correct English. I must be very focused on it and then I read it wrong anyway. It’s very difficult, I try to write so that you can understand that. German is easier;-) In English there are many words that have a different meaning. I’ve never written so much as English here. If I’ve written something wrong what you found. That meant no harm. But it’s fun to read this blog here and follow. I like the way Mr. Parker writes. He writes that what he thinks.
I’m curious what animals still live on the Parker Ranch. Cats, horses, dogs … but also sheep, cows and chickens? But I hope that Mr.Parker tells more stories from the ranch and we get to know more about it. But it is also nice if you still have a little imagination and can get a own idea of the other life.
Manuela
Manuela:
Don’t worry about not being able to speak and write English well (not that you do badly at it… I could understand what you wrote just fine.
) There are some native speakers that seem to have trouble with it, lol. It’s my understanding that it is one of the, if not the, hardest languages to master. Just keep practicing!
~ Ciana
Yes Manuela you’re doing fine!! I’m a former English as a second language teacher and sometimes I still make mistakes
Keep up the good work.
Tena French Halifax, NS Canada
Thank you Ciana and Tena
I practice diligently;-) We have at our stables a woman, Birgit, she’s riding our old friesian horse Freddy. Therefore, she helps us in the stable. She is a teacher and also taught English. When we ride together for me there is always English teaching
We talk often in English and Birgit me constantly improved. I ride mostly my Pregnant Iceland horse Orca. She gets the foal in March 2013. Birgit recently said to me: This filly is bilingual to the world! 
German and English 
I tried last year to learn English in a night school that has not worked. Somehow ….. this was too boring. I can not sit too long in a room and listen. When riding, together with Brigit, makes more fun.
At home I have the problem, I am now speaking English ever automatically. When my mother asked me what I answered in English;-) She looked at me with a questioning face, and said: Huh? lol
But I think we here are a bit gone off topic;-) The Cat Grace
Sorry cat 
Manuela
Mr. Parker I normally do this with friends so I will go out on the limb and ask you to allow me and my family to help you with the animals financially. I don’t wish this to be to embarass you but i would love to help the animals too by anyway we can. I think that it takes a village to raise a child and a world to help animals. Think about it. Ponder over it. When you and MS. Darlene decide. My email is foreverpeaceful@yahoo.ca. Email me .
Tena French Halifax, NS Canada