January, 2013

Man, The Years Have Not Been Kind To Me!

January 30th, 2013 10 Comments

I just got home after a week-long (more or less) trip and I wanted to be a responsible little camper and catch up on all my work, especially on comments to my blog. I usually use Bing as a search engine, and if I have that function open on my computer and I wish to check my messages, I just type in my name and then open my web site through them. The fourth entry under my name on the Bing page is, “Images of Jameson Parker.” You need to take a look at that page.

 

Two of the images shown are black-and-white headshots of me as a typically arrogant young actor on his way to conquer the world. Two are later black-and-white headshots of me as a typically arrogant world conqueror. But the fifth photograph… Dear me, how I have changed! You might not realize it, gentle reader, but according to Bing, I am now a nice-looking, bespectacled and rather plump grandmother with a bouffant hair-do and a string of pearls. I particularly resent this carelessness on Bing’s part because everyone who knows me will tell you I have never worn pearls. They don’t suit my complexion.

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More Shameless Self-Promotion!

January 17th, 2013 14 Comments

Just when you thought it was safe to go to my site and read the latest harmless blog…

 

Return to Laughter, which has been mentioned in one of my bios as a completed book (and it was; I just decided to hold it back and make a few minor changes) has finally been released and a link can be found on my “Books” page. Here, to hold you spellbound and breathless, and to encourage you to instantly buy dozens of copies for yourself and everyone you have ever met in your entire life, is the description:

 

Return to Laughter is an insider’s account of the rise and fall and bittersweet redemption of a wild and wildly ambitious young star. Young Rocky Stone rebels against the stuffy and circumscribed world of his upbringing and climbs up the acting ladder to the top of the most glamorous profession there is, a world of wealth, fame, and privilege, as well as sex, drugs, and self-destruction. The birth of a child stops Rocky Stone’s downward spiral, but Hollywood is also a world where cheating and embezzlement are ways of life, and lives are considered disposable. When real disaster strikes, can a little girl save him? Perhaps a novel, perhaps a roman à clef, perhaps a biography, Return to Laughter weaves reality and fiction together to paint a portrait of Hollywood that is as true today as it has always been, a transient place of youth and beauty and adoration and the shadow of something evil.

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Gun Appreciation Day

January 10th, 2013 32 Comments

January 19th, 2013, has been designated as “Gun Appreciation Day.” Uh, no, not by the federal government; by a coalition of groups that all support the second amendment of the U. S. Constitution. Some of these groups I belong to or support; some I have only heard of; some I’ve never heard of; some I have heard of, but they seem a little too far over the top—or to the right—for my taste. But what’s interesting about this is that it appears to be the first ever (that I’m aware of) attempt to show legitimate, quasi-mainstream (to the extent the internet can be considered mainstream) support for gun ownership. Which brings us to the crux of the issue.

 

Chris Dorsey, CEO and President of Orion Entertainment, an outdoor television production company, once told me that when he was in high school in Wisconsin he and his best friend used to ride their bikes to school during hunting season with their shotguns on the handlebars. At school, they would give the guns to the principal, who would lean them up in the corner of his office, and after school Chris and his friend would pheasant hunt their way home. That was only about thirty years ago, but it seems now like such an old-fashioned, long ago and far away thing for boys to do, Huck Finn drifting down the Mississippi on his raft. And yet it was in most of the country, until recently, just as much a normal, quintessential American activity as playing baseball, the kind of scene Norman Rockwell might have painted.

 

How did the gun, any kind of gun, become demonized? Why have so many Americans, primarily white, liberal, affluent, urban and suburban Americans, become so virulently afraid of guns?

 

Gun control of any kind is, by definition, racist. The vast majority of violent crime occurs in impoverished, inner-city areas. The vast majority of residents of impoverished inner-city neighborhoods are minorities, primarily black and Hispanic. Should those residents not be allowed to protect themselves? Are so many white, liberal, affluent, urban and suburban Americans really so racist that they consider minority lives snuffed out in ghettoes a small price to pay for their own safety?

 

Gun control is, by definition, sexist. Women are usually smaller and less able to defend themselves than men. Rape and sexual assault are becoming “more common throughout the world” (Source: Wikipedia, quoting a United Nations survey), with approximately one out of every six (or seven, depending on your source) American college women reporting a rape, yet nine out of ten rape victims never tell anyone what was done to them. Those are college women. I have no reason to believe the situation is better for poorer women unable to afford a college education. Do white, liberal, affluent, urban and suburban Americans care so little about their wives and daughters that they would put their own safety first?

 

And the ugliest truth of all is that gun control is, by definition, elitist. Most victims of every type of crime, violent or non-violent, are those people who are least able to protect themselves, physically or financially. Politicians and celebrities and the wealthy or well-connected can afford armed bodyguards; they and the affluent can afford to live in neighborhoods with low rates of crime; they can afford to live in homes with alarm systems. Are white, liberal, affluent, urban and suburban Americans so arrogant and callous as to believe they are the only ones who deserve to be protected?

 

Ever since the first ape whacked another ape over the head with a bone and got more of the berries to eat, man the tool-using animal, has always been armed. It was only toward the end of the industrial revolution, when lifestyles and living patterns throughout most of the world were changed by industry, and more people became more affluent, that for the first time in history a man would or could go out without an armed retinue to protect him, or, if he were less wealthy, with a sword or a pistol on his belt to do the protecting himself. Is there any white, liberal, affluent, urban or suburban person out there so naïve as to believe that countless hundreds of thousands of years of evolution can be undone in a handful of generations? Or, more ridiculously, by the scribbling of a presidential pen? Focusing on the gun as a casual agent is completely inexplicable. If you follow that logic, the next time you go to a concert, wait until Yo Yo Ma leaves the stage and then applaud his cello.

 

Now, according to columnist Philip Rucker, writing for the Washington Post, “…the White House is working with its allies on a well-financed campaign in Washington and around the country to shift public opinion toward stricter gun laws and provide political cover to lawmakers who end up voting for an assault-weapons ban or other restrictions on firearms.” Is the current administration so elitist as to believe they are the only ones who deserve to be able to protect themselves? Are they so naïve that they really believe they can pass more laws to make crime more illegal? Are their own careers more important to them than reality?

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Sad News Help Needed

January 7th, 2013 8 Comments

I received the following email from a friend who is a real estate broker. I shall call her Mary Jones, and I shall call her husband, Bill. All her emails are sent out with the automated tag line, “…on the go, making things happen!”

 

From: Mary Jones mjones@blahblah.com

Date: Monday, January 7, 2013

To: Jameson Parker jamesonparker@blahblah.com

Subject: SAD NEWS HELP NEEDED

 

I am writing this with tears in My Eyes My Family and I have traveled on a trip to Manila Philippines, Unfortunately we were mugged at the park of the hotel where we stayed all cash, credit card and cell were stolen off us but luckily for us we still have our passports with us.

 

We’ve been to the embassy and the Police here but they’re not helping issues at all and our flight leaves soon but we’re having problems settling the hotel bills and the hotel manager won’t let us leave until we settle the bills.

 

We need your financial assistance and We Promise to pay back as soon as we get back home.

 

Mary Jones, Broker Associate

“…on the go, making things happen!”

 

From: Jameson Parker jamesonparker@blahblah.com

Date: Monday, January 07, 2013

To: Mary Jones mjones@blahblah.com

Subject: Re: SAD NEWS HELP NEEDED

 

Dear Mary,

 

Wow! Manila? In the Philippines? Holy moly! When you say, “…on the go…” you really mean it, girl! Why, it was only yesterday, at the end of ten o’clock mass, that we talked to you and Bill on the steps of the church and you told Darleen you’d be dropping by the house today or tomorrow. Now, mass ran a little longer than usual (Father Michael is a great guy, very intelligent, very thoughtful and thought-provoking, and frequently very entertaining, but he is methodical in his thought processes and he is a slow speaker) so I’m going to guess it was at least eleven-fifteen when we spoke. We’re a solid three-hour drive from Los Angeles International, and you have to be at the airport at least two hours ahead of time for international departures (Damn those inconsiderate terrorists! They’ve made travel so difficult and cumbersome for all of us.) so if you left right from the church, that would put you at the check-in counter at close to two-thirty (assuming Bill just dropped you off; but wait – what family are you traveling with if…oh, never mind) for a five-thirty departure. According to Wikipedia, “a traveler crossing the International Date Line eastbound subtracts one day, or 24 hours, so that the calendar date to the west of the line is repeated after the following midnight. Crossing the IDL westbound results in 24 hours being added, advancing the calendar date by one day.” It’s a sixteen and a half hour flight from LAX to Manila, so if you left right on time, that would put you in Manila at nine-thirty in the morning of, ah, let me figure this out…of tomorrow (Tuesday)… But how could that be if you wrote your email today, Monday? Never mind, I’ll work on that later. What’s important is getting some money to you so you can get home. But if you’re planning to meet Darleen tomorrow (which would actually be yesterday for you right now) that means you must already have left the Philippines, which means we will see you either today (depending on what your definition of today—or tomorrow—is) or tomorrow if you left yesterday which would actually be today for us. I’m now a little confused, so all things considered, I think it would just be easiest if we gave you some money when you show up here at the house yesterday, today or tomorrow.

 

Safe travels!

 

JP

www.readjamesonparker.com

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Thank God Someone Is Protecting Us!

January 4th, 2013 14 Comments

Kudos to the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service for slapping eleven year old Skylar Capo of Fredericksburg, Virgina with a $535 fine and possible jail time for rescuing a woodpecker from a cat! I only just stumbled across this particular news item, but I can’t tell you how relieved I am to know that the federal government is using my tax money so wisely and so well. The woodpecker is a protected species, and it is a violation of the federal Migratory Bird Act to “take, possess, or transport” a protected species. Being ignorant of the law because you’re eleven years old, or being so soft-hearted you don’t want to see a cat eat a protected species, those things are no excuse. In any right-thinking society, that child should just have been summarily executed.

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Happy New Year!

January 1st, 2013 7 Comments

Happy New Year, everyone!

 

This web site and its blog have been up and running for a year now (a touch over a year, if you want to be persnickety) and I thank all of you who have taken the time to read and comment and buy books. My primary goal has been to entertain, and I hope I’ve achieved that. Certainly, I am always delighted to get feedback, agreeing with me or arguing with me, either way.

 

My resolution for the New Year is to start posting more visual images. It took me a while to master (ha!) the steps, but I have started, and for those of you who are curious, if you go to A Man With a Tight Mouth, under Other Writings, you will see a photograph of Mackie I took for a short profile I wrote about him for a hunting magazine a couple of years ago. Since my photographic skills are right up there with my skills at performing brain surgery with a drill press and a belt sander, I’m rather proud of that photo; Mackie actually looks like a recognizable member of the human race, and I didn’t cut off any critical portion of his anatomy (something I almost certainly would have done with a drill press and a belt sander).

 

I wish all of you health and happiness. Be safe.

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